Daily Commitment

I'm going to try to post at least one entry daily. I was very lazy with my other blog but I need to make sure that I update this as frequently as possible so I can keep myself busy. I want to make blogging a habit this time, and I will try to make this as educative and as insightful as possible. I won't always be able to write long entries, but I'm OK with even 1 paragraph entries because it'll help those closest to me know how I'm doing.

Yesterday was a bad day. It was 2 days ago that I found out that I had HIV, but it was only yesterday that it really sunk in. I was reading a blog by another Filipino guy in Manila, Iam H. Positive, and whenever he talked about his Mom, I would cry. He has a post titled "I'm Sorry, Mama", and when I read the title I broke down and spent around 20 minutes crying before I read the actual entry. I haven't told my own Mom yet, but I'm sure it'll be a very emotional moment. My biggest fear is disappointing my Mom, and I know by telling her I'm HIV+ I will definitely disappoint her.

By the end of yesterday though I was feeling much better. I read a lot of articles again, and thanks to Iam I was able to find out about how apple cider vinegar and raw garlic might possibly help in minimizing my viral loads and boosting my CD4 counts. In English, that means I don't have to wait to start using ARVs before I take positive action to improve my health. I am willing to start anywhere to keep myself healthy.

When I have more time over the weekend, I'll write more about my journey in discovering I had HIV, and I'll try to post as much as I can about what I've learned about HIV. In my few days rabidly researching online, one thing I've discovered about the HIV and AIDS community in the Philippines, and in the rest of the world for that matter, is that it's generally a tight-knit group, and everyone wants to help everyone else out in whatever way they, or we, can. I want to do my part.

As OK as I am with my close friends and family knowing I have HIV, my partner doesn't feel comfortable about people knowing his status. So although I eventually want to reveal myself, I will have to stay anonymous in order to respect my partner's wishes. I haven't completed figured stuff out yet, but I will share this blog with my closest friends and those I share my status with, and I will try to get this blog out as much as possible while keeping my anonymity. Let's see how that works out.

That's all for today. I'll write again tomorrow.